Gas Attack – “War, Famine, Pestilence and Tits”
Gas Attack is a punk band. Yeah, that’s the ticket- they play punk music, and Oi- they do that, too. And it’s really, really punk and they have black leather jackets and Doc Marten boots. And spitting- lots and lots of it with safety pins, that’s right!- through their noses and other orifices. Lots of punk music here, you bet.
Okay, sorry about that. You see Bang is the webmaster meaning every week he puts in all my glorious, precious gems that I carve out of gleaming diamonds each week. But if you notice he does ALL the metal reviews. Something about me being “metally retarded” which, I must admit is sorta true. But I know for a fact he only reads the first paragraph! So don’t let him know but this is a metal band. You know, long haired fellows who sing about having sex with Satan and demons flying across the universe and drum-sets exploding, electrifying noodling guitar solos with flames flying out of their assholes and little squeally noises- you know the score.
But wait; none of that’s here either! What the hell is this crap? These songs have funny lyrics in them, metal is supposed to be heavy and ponderous and this sounds like fun!!!
Though Gas Attack is a metal band they’re quite unlike any metal band on our site. Yeah, they have some flash solos but they sound more like old school metal with punk attitude, occasional hardcore rhythms and hilarious lyrics. Think of the Angry Samoans or Ganggreen as a metal band and you might get where these guys are coming from. All I know is that along with Sexcrement they are putting the fun back into metal and I think fun is the funnest thing I know. So let’s take a listen and have some.
“Absinthe Minded” is the first shot. So like the French Impressionist before them these fine artists also like absinthe. I sampled it once and I agree. So the metal chords are here along with some noodley guitar licks but instead of death vocals or high operatic ones we have a plain voice with a tale to tell. The story goes he drinks the absinthe at home, he sees double and his house starts to spin, he wakes up a bloody mess on his floor but knows absinthe and him will meet again. A truly, heartwarming song that also truly kicks ass.
[audio:https://www.thrashnbang.com/wp-content/music/01 Absinthe Minded.mp3|titles=Absinthe Minded]
“Alcoholic” a song I, at first, strongly believed was written about myself but then I comprehended that it could be about almost everyone I know, continues the theme in warning all about the perils of demon alcohol. Something about, “I don’t care what doctors say…I’ll be drinking till my death.” Actually, I’m too drunk now to make any sense of the lyrics. Another bunch of Sabbath chords at Motorhead speed with Angry Samoan vocals- what a great mix of a drink! The rhythm section chugs along precisely and aggressively while the guitar comes in to play an actual metal guitar solo. The song ends with someone vomiting- an apt ending to a night of drinking and to this great song.
[audio:https://www.thrashnbang.com/wp-content/music/05 Alcoholic.mp3|titles=Alcoholic]
“Watch The World Die” starts with four chords until a churning hardcore rhythm bring the vocals in that proclaim the horror of seeing all the overwhelming beauty, harmony and peace in the world wiped out in a single glance. A shout-a-long chorus that recalls hardcore (and a certain song by the Damn Broads to me) is next. All I know is that with the great beauty that is contained in this song alone, God would not let our existence spiral into oblivion. Though he might smite TNB, no doubt.
[audio:https://www.thrashnbang.com/wp-content/music/07 WatchThe World Die.mp3|titles=WatchThe World Die]
“Pick A Fight, Not A Flower,” which is another song of peace, updating the hippie ideal of everyone getting along, loving one another and working together in order to kill our enemies- namely, Indie Rock! Cut off your seventies porno star mustaches and grow some balls, why dontcha? A lot of ominous, chugging chords in this song along with a driving beat and snarling guitar licks. “Why can’t we get along? ‘Cause people like you exist. Pick a fight, not a flower, kill them all in every hour.” There’s another interlude with a searing hot guitar solo circling in while the drummer chops away like a crazed lumberjack. “We’re gonna cut out their guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks,” indeed.
[audio:https://www.thrashnbang.com/wp-content/music/08 Pick A Fight Not A Flower.mp3|titles=Pick A Fight Not A Flower]
So just so we’re clear, here, Gas Attack is not a punk band. Maybe not one hundred percent metal but who amongst ourselves can stake a similar claim? As the Bible says, “He who has no sin in their life should be the first to get stoned,” or something like that.
These guys are funny, have fun songs and if you disagree f.u. Eh, I don’t really mean that last part, just trying to be funny. But these guys really are and really grab the best from metal, punk and hardcore and put it in their own little blender and mix it up right and serve it straight up for us to enjoy.
As good as absinthe.
Well, nothing’s that good.
(Slimedog)
