The Brand New Luddites – “Terms And Conditions”
The Brand New Luddites were “conceived as a special anti-technology robot termination unit…with the seemingly novel concept of the technological rejection in an age of hyper-automation-
They savagely push forward to reinstate individual thought and self-awareness back into the human populous by ending the current plague of technological oppression worldwide, once and for all.”
I couldn’t agree more heartily, though, I must confess- as a robot myself, this may well put me out of a job.
As most of you have guessed by now, I was and still am, to the best of my knowledge, a robot that Andy Bang built and programmed.
And as most of you have also figured out- he was drunk when he built me.
So instead of oil or gigabytes, my fuel is alcohol.
Aha! Now you say to yourself- this explains everything!
But with that revelation out of the way- let me explain who, what and where The Brand New Luddites may be.
Strangely enough, they’re from the state best known for technology- Vermont.
Actually, Vermont is the second least populated state in America, next to Wyoming- So I guess it’s not so much they have no technology it’s that they have no people- only trees and beautiful scenery.
Even I, as a robot, believe Vermont to be New England’s most beautiful state surpassing Maine and even quaint New Jersey.
And there’s some mighty fine, beautiful music here- at least, in a punk rock sorta way.
I feel their style is a mashup of Devo and The Misfits. And I also think their sound is unique and great.
Let’s press accept and listen to the “Terms And Conditions”:
“The Internet Took My Baby” starts with some retro dialing displaying internet startup sounds along with a title that references The Ramones song “The KKK Took My Baby Away.” This song also has a bashing rhythm that Devo once liked to cook up along with a slick, melodic vocal that The Misfits often served up. Plus, it has a fifties rock’n’roll chord changes, punk rock propulsion and catchy vocals that hit this tune out of the ballpark for me.
“Poison Electricity” has a fast, hard hitting, chopping, bopping rhythm and lyrics such as, “Post-apocalyptic Frank, he sits around getting tanked. He’s out cold when he sees all the robots on TV.” This tune also sounds like Glenn Danzig fronting Devo, or perhaps Dave Vanian from The Damned- either way it’s all good and sounds great to me-
There’s also “Post-apocalyptic Phil, he sits around dosed up on pills. Post-apocalyptic John- Well, he knows what’s going on.” And, of course, “Post-apocalyptic Sue. She knows just what to do.” This song is melodic, fun and even made a robot like me get up and dance disgracefully.
“Fight Back” has a fast, punching rhythm that connects as hard and as effective as a left jab followed by a right uppercut. This song has so much contained energy it’s like a gasket ready to blow. And it contains an actual guitar solo that is actually, pretty good. Don’t fight against the alluring, awesomeness of this song.
“Mind Patrol” starts out of the gates with a rushing rhythm like endorphins or perhaps, dolphins swimming through your bloodstream ready to attack your brain. There’s a great, rolling drum beat with a sushi knife like slashing guitars along with unison answered vocals. This song is exciting, energetic and excellent. And is my favorite one on this release.
“Flatline” is taken at a more moderate pace but still shoots off sparks of energy with a great melodic chorus that states- “You make my heart go flatline, when I got no lifeline.” This tune is more moody, more reflective than most of the other fun songs. But creates a mood that’s a bit more poignant, revealing, emotional and meaningful, as well.
(You know, I hate it when I go on internet sites and I have to lie when they ask me to check off that I’m not a robot).
A Luddite is “a person opposed to new technology or new ways of working.”
I can dig that, but then I love synthesizers, laptops and cellphones. And damn, if I can figure out how to use any of them most of the time.
I’m glad that I have a fairly short time to go here as I don’t look forward to the day when I can’t log onto my toothbrush as I forgot my password.
But you have a small distance now to go to enjoy some great, melodic punk influenced music bursting full of energy, passion and drive.
And you don’t have to drive all the way to Vermont. Just click on the technological connections right below here.
But don’t ask me if you run into any technical problems- hit up Andy.
I know that’s what I do.
(Slimedog)
