The Ratz – “508 EP”
“Some may say they heard it all. Some may need a sock in the jaw.”- from “Some Might Say” by The Ratz.
Some may say there’s a lot of depressing notions on this EP, that don’t reflect, honestly, the current state of affairs.
Sure, we’re in the midst of a pandemic causing people to huddle in fear when they see each other, while the old and sickly are being slowly diminished.
And we do have a former reality TV host and World Wide Wrestling Federation employee and former failed con artist leading the nation in a fanciful farce that only Monty Python before, was absurd enough to imagine. But is now, in fact, a real reality show we’re all now watching and living in.
But at least you won’t have Slimedog doing this review as we’re turning this review over to one of our biggest supporters, our straight shooting associate-
I’m Samm Gunn.
I’m a private eye.
But some times when these two fellows, when these two degenerates, have prior commitments they contact me and hire my services.
My rates stay the same. Food, gas and whiskey included.
Tell the truth, the reason I’m mostly called is because one or both are incarcerated or on a drinking binge.
But I take work wherever I find it, as it is a little slow during this quarantine time. And if you ask me, Slimedog and Bang should be permanently quarantined for the betterment of society.
I know that being infected by the virus- Sure, that’s a terrible thing. But being exposed to the nonsense and vulgarity of these two knuckleheads, constantly-Well, I can’t imagine any vaccine being strong enough to cure that.
Well, I guess it’s time to work. The Ratz are a Connecticut/hardcore punk band that Slimedog thinks as highly of, as I think as lowly of him. (And that’s saying a lot).
And though his burned out, angel dusted, alcohol addled brain rarely makes sense. It would appear that this time he’s actually onto something instead of merely being on something.
These compositions were recorded at their rehearsal auditorium and are from their last recording disk “After The Blackout”. Which is a perfect description of what Slimedog and Bang should be dealing with after I turn in my assignment.
But I guess Slimedog did manage to write about the songs before he was incarcerated, passed out or both.
With an intro that sounds like a long-lost classic Iggy & The Stooges cut, “Destroy You” begins with a growling guitar and poppin’ punk beat with a vicious vocal line that ends with a combination of male and female voices much like a song by X might go. (Who have great, new material BTW). “I will destroy you, I will cut you down.” Gee, I can hear Mr. Pop singing this line in my head. This song does cut me down or at least, slices the top of my cranium off with a ginzo steak knife and then proceeds to stuff, such mind, with mind-blowing dynamite.
“You’re Dead,” starts out with a lo-fi, fuzzed out, frantic guitar leading into a high-pitched, hardcore vocal worthy of Keith Morris of the Circle Jerks. It is a song that jumps around alive with guts, energy and passion. There’s even a bit of a guitar solo until it’s swallowed up whole in a typhoid/tsunami of volume, rhythm and rage that is sublimely wondrous.
“Red, White And Blue,” is a hardcore rant that spews forth a barrage of noise, anger and excitement. That repeats the title, three times, before screaming an expletive, I’m not allowed to say, as we follow the strict guidelines of the Christian Publication standards of 1963. This great punk song is long over before you can read my less than great, description of it.
Slimedog told me, from his one allotted call, that though the sound quality is not the best, the songs and performance couldn’t be better.
And I guess he probably sobered up a bit by now because I couldn’t agree more.
He said it sounds like a bootleg of an early X show, or an early Iggy & The Stooges show. But I am unaware of those jazz orchestras.
But he also related something cryptic, something that a veteran detective like me just can’t suss-
He said, “If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing I’d like to do. Is to drink it and then save every day till eternity passes away…
And then pass out.”
(Samm Gunn)
