Risk / Lowlife / Borrowed Time / Truth In Needles / Honest John / Capture
Midway Cafe, Jamaica Plain, MA 12/7/13
This Saturday’s matinee was a little different for us. And it had nothing to do with my attire, my diet or my alcohol consumption as it was a typical day at that. It was because we saw almost all new bands. (I had only seen one of the bands before; Andy none). So though we never get tired of the bands we love this will give you some new bands to experience.
This, of course, is dual texting considered by the North Dakota Farm Bureau (ndfb.org) as the most dangerous of all music reviews. We beseech you to heed our warnings and never attempt this in the confines of a club. We’re trained specialists who have taken the necessary classes in alcohol intake and mindless babbling.
So sit back, relax, put a log on the fire and liar in the fog and prepare your mind and eyes to witness the ever-changing, ever- fascinating, ever-evering world of dual texting.
Slimedog- Well I brought twelve large pizzas with me. Do you think that will be enough?
Andy- No dude, the pizzas are supposed to be for our Xmas show.
Slimedog- And I came dressed as one of Santa’s elves, too. Well the pointy shoes and hat with a bell I wear every day. But this green leotard is very tight.
Andy- I think you’d better take them off before your nuts get sling-shotted across the room.
Slimedog- Excellent idea. Another great idea would be if we each consume a large pizza during every bands set. I know the sensible thing would be to give them away but never let it be said that we are sensible.
Andy- Okay that sounds like a plan and the math works out since there’s six bands today. And what a melting pot it is with two bands from Rhode Island, two from New York, one from New Hampshire and one from Massachusetts.
Slimedog- Well the first band is called Capture and they are very young. Where are they from?
Andy- I think they’re the band from MA.(…Caputure takes the stage)
Slimedog- They have a good front man and some interestingly good songs but they’re a little rough around the edges.
Andy-They kinda have a funky poppy thing going on with loud narrative vocals. Sort of like if Vanilla Ice fronted a punk band.
Slimedog- That sounds like another great idea and I have one as well. I’m gonna have two beers and a Jameson with each pizza. (…Honest John takes the stage) Who’s this band, they sound great?
Andy- That is a good idea. These guys are Honest John from R.I.
Slimedog- Oh, I didn’t recognize their sound. I just reviewed their CD. They’re less experimental live but do play great garage rock influenced hardcore.
Andy- Yah, they play good old crazy punk n roll. The singer exhibits cool William Shatner like theatrics.(…Slimedog leaves for a short while and comes back….Truth In Needles takes the stage)
Slimedog- Excuse me but I was vomiting in the bathroom. What band is playing now?
Andy- Truth In Needles is up now. They’re one of the two bands from New York.
Slimedog- They sound so good I’m not surprised where they’re from. Great heavy New York hardcore. I’m gonna get their CD.
Andy- Good idea. They play a bit of everything. Some rap-ish, some funky, some Ramones-like, some Oi-ish.
Slimedog- Yet another excellent New York band. And talk about excellent New York bands, I believe Kiss is up next!
Andy- Close, but it’s actually a band called Borrowed Time.(…Borrowed Time takes the stage)
Slimedog- They sound very good, but just a little too slick for my ears.
Andy- I think they’re very good. Along the lines of the Cro-Mags, Terror, and Bio-Hazard. Nice dissonant action.
Slimedog- Hmm, after 4 pizzas, 8 beers and 4 whiskeys I’m not feeling too right. Hey, next is the only band today that I’ve seen before.
Andy- Oh you must mean Lowlife from R.I. (…Lowlife takes the stage)
Slimedog- Yeah, I reviewed their CD as well. Good heavy hardcore with a wild lead singer.
Andy- Good metal-ish hardcore. The singer is a bit hyper all right. He kind of reminds me of Jack Black.
Slimedog- Great set. I think I’ve added more vomit than piss today in the men’s room. Do you know that Kiss was originally called Piss but there was a pop band with the same name so they had to change it.
Andy- No I didn’t know that. Speaking of which I think I’d better relieve myself before the next band goes on.
Slimedog- Yes go, by all means, follow where your dick leads you. I suppose if there was more truth in names most indie band would be named Shit. (…Andy leaves and comes back a short time later)
Andy- Okay, I’m back. Wow, the walls were dripping with puke. I think you need to see a doctor. Now it’s time for Risk the only band from New Hampshire, or maybe they’re from MA. (…Risk takes the stage)
Slimedog- It says they’re from Merrimack Valley, I thought that was in Tennessee. This is a young band doing intense hardcore.
Andy- Yes, they are very good. A bit of hardcore, rap core and metal mixed in. Ya know, in spite of all our eating, purging, belching and pissing, I think this turned out to be a very, very good show.
Slimedog- Yes indeed and lots of new bands for us. And I can’t wait for the Xmas show and more pizza.
Andy- I know it should be awesome. Just the thought of more pizza is making my stomach turn. (…Andy suddenly pukes all over his new shoes)
