The Enemy Within / Reason Enough / On The Offense / Blastmat / Hard Time
Midway Café, Jamaica Plain, MA 9/28/13
Dr. Bang and I were recently invited to a philosophy symposium in Hamburg, Germany but we wisely decided to attend a rave at the Midway Café instead.
Using scientific methods we were able to collect data, only slightly altered by alcoholic beverage consumption, of the important sociological information on tribal behavior and how much music functions in a ritualistic, communicative linkage in this social phenomenon.
We respectfully request that others do not use our form of dual texting as it is highly contagious and possibly fatal to those who do not have the correct protective covering.
We wish all to have an enjoyable interaction with the forthcoming data and hopefully, a humorous and reflective mode will enhance your experience in dwelling upon these experiences.
So recline, eliminate all outside distractions and prepare yourself for the unique, invigorating, enriching experience that we recklessly refer to as “dual texting.”
Slimedog- I’m so excited! I have never been to one of these before.
Andy- One of what?
Slimedog- First electro-dance party of course.
Andy- Really, will they be handing out some Molly?
Slimedog- No that is terrible dangerous stuff. I did bring 200 glow sticks to hand out. Where’s the DJ?
Andy- There was a guy here earlier with purple hair, maybe that was the DJ.
Slimedog- Hmm, I think this may be one of those rare times I got the wrong info. Who is this purple haired one that you speak so eloquently of?
Andy- On second thought, I think it may have been Midway Dave attempting to sneak in again. He only shows up for the best shows.
Slimedog- I saw a vampire drinking at Trader Vic’s, his hair was purple. Hey, an electro-dance band is going on stage!
Andy- That’s not an electro-dance band, that’s Hard Time, a metalish hardcore band.
Slimedog- Yeah, kind of a mix of the Rage Against The Machine style and hardcore. So I was right. This is a rave!
Andy- Hmm, yeah, I guess so. I’m gonna go drop some acid in the bathroom. Want some?
Slimedog- No sir. The only thing I drop in bathrooms is my pants to take a shit. They played a short, good set. Now it’s time for a band I’ve heard good things about. Euro-pop disco band, Blastmat!
Andy- Oh no, I thought it was the triumphant return of Sonny and Cher, which would have explained the pungent scent of rigor mortis. But, Blastmat is good too.
Slimedog- This band has great hardcore vocals, an almost Stooges feel on guitar and bass and a great drummer, Joe, from Forced Reality.
Andy- They play old school hardcore like the great hardcore bands of the 80’s. These guys are really tearing it up.
Slimedog- Sometimes a band can disappoint when you’ve heard great things about them, but they live up to their reputation. I believe the dance party is about to begin.
Andy- Must be, ‘cause I think I just saw a rabbit run in the door, do 3 flips in the air and run up some guy’s butt over there. The next band up is On The Offense.
Slimedog- Well I hope you dropped your acid down the toilet because drugs are like magic- they make friends disappear. This is another New York hardcore unit and they sound amazing.
Andy- Drugs? Oh, I wasn’t talking about consuming illegal substances. I like to drop hydrochloric acid in the toilet before I shit. It keeps me from plugging up the pipes. Anyhow, I concur these guys are incredible.
Slimedog- I had someone throw acid in my face once but it actually improved my looks. Must be a law that you have to be totally awesome to play hardcore in New York clubs ’cause here’s another one that blows me away. It’s time for the rave now, right?
Andy- Right! I know there must be a few bands from New York that suck, but apparently they don’t know where Boston is. It’s just incredible and so is On The Offense.
Slimedog- I thought for sure that Blastmat would win the day but now it’s a tie. BTW, a review of Blastmat’s great CD just went in. I feel so silly in my Day-Glo suit. When is the rave gonna begin?
Andy- Not sure, but there’s another band from NY taking the stage called Reason Enough. Maybe T.J. will fire up the disco ball.
Slimedog- Great, these guys mix rap with hardcore. They even have two singer/rappers. Not my style but still a fun band.
Andy- Yes, a bit of old school rap-core ala the Beastie Boys/Biohazard. As you say not necessarily our cup of tea, but well done.
Slimedog- And now it’s time for the band that combines Frankie Goes To Hollywood with Nine Inch Nails- The Enemy Within.
Andy- Speaking of the enemy within, I know I shouldn’t have eaten that fifth hot dog. Woops, I think I just blew a hole in my shorts.
Slimedog- How did eating a hot dog rip your shorts?
Andy- Well, it was what the hot dog turned into in my digestive track that ripped my shorts. (I.E. The Enemy Within).
Slimedog- I see. It’s all a metaphor. For what eats us up inside of us manifests outside of us in disrupted farts. What we take in today is merely tomorrow’s waste product.
Andy- Wow man that was beautiful. It puts a whole new spin on passing gas. Speaking of which, how about those ruckus dudes in The Enemy Within? They are certainly turning in a great set.
Slimedog- Thanks I thought you might say it sounds like you’re full of shit. They have a great drummer, great front man, new guitarist and play New York style hardcore just as good, if not better, than the bands from there. And New York sports teams suck though their pizza, deli, people and nightlife is the best in the world. And excuse me, but I must poop in my pants.
Andy- They never disappoint. They always turn in a real toe tapper or should I say a real hardcore sledgehammer to the temples. Don’t worry I have some underwear in my trunk. What size are you?
Slimedog- I’m children’s extra-large. I must say I didn’t think I would like an electronic dance music rave as much as I have today.
Andy- I know, definitely one of the best shows of the year.
Slimedog- You can always depend on depends is my motto.
