The Pity Whores / Bad Movies / Fast Times / Neighborhood Shit / The Trip / Moose Knuckle
Midway Cafe, Jamaica Plain, MA 1/25/14
Recently, meaning about five months ago, we saw a fine show representing the youth of America and their musical proclivities. We hadn’t dare release this document at a previous time due to the similarity to our Xmas party we had witnessed the previous month. We thought the shock might be too much for our very youngest of viewers and too much strain on the nerves of our older ones.
You see, three out of the five bands here played together the previous month- the two great bands from December- namely BarRoom Heroes and Seven Year Plan merely replaced by two more great bands, Moose Knuckle and Neighborhood Shit in January.
But since all the secret documents have been declassified now the truth can be shown. But also let it be known that TNB is using its vast political influence to push through a bill that every month those bands have to play the same show. We can only offer our prayers at this time that our vision does come to fruition but we earnestly suggest you contact your local representative as well.
In the meantime, which is still a groovy time, strap your safety belts in for a a trip on Rocket Number Nine on a trip to Venus. Or for you old fuddy-duddys another dual texting review.
Slimedog- I know that Jager causes flashbacks but is this our Xmas show?
Andy- It could be since several of the same bands played, but I know it’s not because the singer of the band Bad Movies doesn’t have Xmas lights in her hair.
Slimedog- You’re right. Three out of the five bands that played then are playing today.
Andy- Dude, how much Jager have you had?
Slimedog- Only one large bottle that I shared with Simon my pet giraffe
Andy- Who got to eat the worm?
Slimedog- Simon performed oral sex on the worm whose name was Zelda I believe. I thought people were looking at me funny because I brought Simon, but now I see it’s because of how he’s dressed. I thought it was Xmas so I dressed him as a reindeer.
Andy- Oh yah, I was wondering why Simon had antlers on his ass. I thought he might have gotten rear ended.
Slimedog- He did- by me last night but that’s another story. Looks like a herd of moose with antlers are taking the stage.
Andy- That’s the band Moose Knuckle. Antlers, huh (Mohawks)?
Slimedog- Oh good you see it too. We saw them together once before and were very impressed.
Andy- Yeah I really like these guys and it looks like they’re ripping it up again tonight.
Slimedog- Yeah I’d think I’d call them Oi instead hardcore. Fun band.
Andy- Definitely. And Simon seems to be enjoying them as well, rollicking in the mosh pit.
Slimedog- Yeah, they got the moshers going early. Now it’s time for The Trip.
Andy- Hmm, I think I may have had too much Jager as well as these guys look a bit like Neighborhood Shit playing the wrong instruments with some dude on trombone.
Slimedog- No, you are correct but just in the nick of time the weird punk/ska changes into doom metal hardcore to save the day.
Andy- Thank God, or perhaps Lucifer, for that. Neighborhood Shit is one of my favorite local bands.
Slimedog- Yes, Heavens To Betsy they are! And what a great set. Now Fast Times takes center stage.
Andy- Is it just me or do these guys get better with every show.
Slimedog- Yes and they played the Xmas show. They are an exploding rocket of hardcore punk colliding into outer space!
Andy- In fact they are the only band to have played each and everyone of our Xmas shows.
Slimedog- Along with Creed as well. Look Wyatt (from The Pity Whores) is up their singing.
Andy- Great set once again.
Slimedog- Bad Movies is up next and they also played the Xmas party. They’re very young and keep in with the punk spirit.
Andy- They sort of remind me of like a throw back punk band from the 80’s. Especially with a female singer.
Slimedog- I like how their sound always feels like it’s about to topple over the edge. Mikke Worm their guitarist booked the show.
Andy- Good call on Mikke’s part. Ouch, I think Simon just pistol whipped me. What’s the deal?
Slimedog- What happened?
Andy- As I turned he just hit me for no reason. Perhaps he thought I was one of those awful Pity Whores by mistake. You speak giraffe you should ask him.
Slimedog- They are mute so they use sign language. I just gave him the third finger. Wow the place just exploded with the Pity Whore’s first song, G.G. Allin’s “Bite It You Scum.”
Andy- Nice to see them firing on all cylinders again. And I see they manged to locate their drummer.
Slimedog- And they’re bringing their usual mix of pop punk, hardcore and garage rock lunacy.
Andy- Still one of the best live bands around.
Slimedog- They are a funny, frantic formidable band that inspires fear and frothing from all farm animals. Oh, no- look at Simon he’s on fire again! He went outside to smoke and somehow his outfit caught on fire.
Andy- Quick throw this drink on him.
Slimedog- Good idea. I’ll pour this bottle of Jager on him. That should do the trick.
Andy- Oh, no- the Jager increased the flames and now three cars are ablaze. We’d better get out of here.
Slimedog- Hop on his back, we’ll ride him out of here. My sombrero will blow out the flames.
Andy- Let’s hope he doesn’t fart.
