METAL vs. PUNK III
Razors In The Night / Sexcrement / Soul Remnants / The Trans Fats
Middle East Up Cambridge MA 4/6/13
Bang and I recently had the privilege and pleasure of attending one of Duncan Wilder Johnson’s Metal vs. Punk shows where he has two punk bands and two metal bands play the same night. Of course, this is a show that we wouldn’t want to miss. Not only do we love the idea of what he is doing but he always brings the best and this show was no exception.
It took place at the Middle East Up one of my least favorite places to see a show. No seats, one and a half fake bars. Bang was surprised, but not I, when one of them was not stocked with the exotic beer we ordered “Coors Light” even though the other one had it. Sound is often shaky here, also, but- Stop your bitchin’ Slimedog; this is a club that is open to booking punk, metal, all-ages and by that fact alone it’s great by me.
Besides, it was nice seeing folks we know in a different venue. Julia, the Lizard Queen, with her long hair gone. Chris B. who has lost a drummer but gained new facial hair. Katie is still red but lost her bangs, Todd has a broken tailbone.
So let’s proceed without the warnings and proclamations into the exciting, inviting, enlightening world of dual texting.
Slimedog- I know we were excited about this metal vs. punk show but I can’t hide my disappointment.
Andy- Really, why’s that?
Slimedog- This is a music event. I was under the impression that this was going to be a fight. I was looking forward to seeing big, hairy metal dudes whaling on skinny, little punks.
Andy- Well I see your point. That would have been quite entertaining. But nowadays it’s hard to tell the punks from the metal heads.
Slimedog- Even though I’m not that interested in music I must admit this is a good bill. Look! The Trans Fats are commanding the stage.
Andy- Yes, Jamie (guitarist) was shitting bricks earlier when his drummer (Lost Larry) was nowhere to be found. But now they’re rockin’ out.
Slimedog- A fine representative of the punk party. Lots of new songs tonight.
Andy- Yes they are definitely one of the best punk/hardcore bands on our site.
Slimedog- They’re my favorite Rhode Island band next to the Dropkick Murphy’s. Hurray!- punk is kicking ass!
Andy- Hey, wait a minute. Aren’t the Dropkicks from Boston?
Slimedog- No, you are mistaken. Just like The Mighty Bosstones they are from Rhode Island. And I’m not positive but I believe the band Boston is from there as well. Looks like its Soul Remnants time.
Andy- So much for punk kicking ass. These guys are tearing it up.
Slimedog- They’re very good, their first song was great and they have an excellent drummer, but they are too progressive for my feeble mind.
Andy- I think the crack has gone to your head. These guys are awesome. I’d have to say the scales have definitely tipped toward the metal side.
Slimedog- No! I’m sure that punk will win tonight! I just went over to say “Hi” to our wise friend Swid (bassist for Razors In The Night).
Andy- You mean the dude with his pants down around his knees? Not sure he’s very credible.
Slimedog- While I was talking to him, he and his friend dropped their pants to show their butts to some girl they know, they were cheek to cheek and not on the face.
Andy- Are you sure they were showing her their butts?
Slimedog- I am because I was in front of them thankfully. I was once arrested for indecent exposure myself but the police let me go because of lack of evidence. And talk about disrobing it’s time for Sexcrement!
Andy- I see they brought some scantily clad friends with them.
Slimedog- And of the female persuasion. These ladies are dancing, stripping and popping balloons.
Andy- As you would. You gotta hand it to Sexcrement. They certainly are entertaining. Not sure I would classify the vocals as death though. Sound more like bird calls. But it all seems to work.
Slimedog- I think of them as more rock’n’roll as they embody sex, fun and outrageousness that Rap has stolen away. And it’s good to see them keep alive the strong feminist ideas that have always been present in rock music.
Andy- Well said. Sure would be nice to see more women in rock wearing only panties and pasties.
Slimedog- But it’s all in fun. I was laughing more than leering. Looks like metal just pulled way ahead. Sexcrement drive me crazy. I feel like setting my hair on fire and running down Mass Ave.
Andy- I know what you mean. Who needs Viagra with Sexcrement around.
Slimedog- Razors In The Night are now taking the stage.
Andy- Nice to see that Swid has managed to pull his pants back up.
Slimedog- Yes, but I sense he feels the girls stole his act. It’s been awhile since we’ve seen the Razors.
Andy- True, but their tunes still pack a nice punch.
Slimedog- Agreed, a mix of hardcore and pop/punk. Look! Chris, the singer from Acaro, just jumped on stage.
Andy- Hey, wait a minute, he’s not wearing any pasties.
Slimedog- Good point, as good as the Razors are they can’t compete in that category. Looks like metal has won the night!
Andy- Hmm, has metal really won or, as usual, has sex won out? Just goes to show, everything jacks up a notch when porn enters the scene.
Slimedog- Or Thrash N Bang. Same thing really. We should thank Duncan for putting on this great show. But hopefully, he will come to his senses and have them fight it out next time. And have Looney Tunes cartoon music playing in the background.
Andy- Yes, hats off to Duncan for such a great show with great bands. Or should I say, pants off….
Slimedog- And clothes off to Sexcrement- best band in the world next to Rammstein.
